Which is faster: a snail, a glacier or a piece of government legislation passing through Congress?

Every now and then Bill Gates’ book Business at the Speed of Thought comes up and we laugh, wishing it were true that we could get things done as fast as we think them. On further reflection, however, it is probably not a bad thing when things take a little time. My uncle in Washington DC (not Uncle Sam) used to say that it is often good that government takes almost forever to get things done. In this way, delays in implementation give the bureaucrats an opportunity to make revisions before particularly bad decisions go into effect.

I remember wondering why some laws get passed with implementation dates five to ten years in the future. There are actually two reasons this happens. First, there are almost always unintended consequences in most new laws. And second, many laws require improvements in technology or infrastructure before they can get adopted.  

A Snail’s Pace
Anyone who has seen a snail slime across the driveway knows that snails do not really sprint. Nevertheless, for amusement, there have been snail races conducted here and there throughout history. The world’s fastest snail has been enshrined in the Guinness Book of World Records. At the 1995 World Snail Racing Championship, in Longhan England, a garden snail named Archie tackled the 13 inch circular course in a mere two minutes twenty seconds. Imagine how fast he could have gone had he not had to brake for the turns!
 
Well, by comparison, you’ll be impressed to discover that even the slowest snails move faster than glaciers. Archie reached a maximum velocity of 0.092 inches/second which means that he could speed across a ten foot wide driveway in 1304.34 seconds or just under 22 minutes. If you think 22 minutes is like a long time to travel ten feet, consider how fast (or slow) glaciers tend to move in the same time period.

Glaciers are essentially enormous rivers of ice. Alpine glaciers are found in mountainous terrain where great quantities of snow fall. The snow gets packed down and when it reaches a mass of fifty feet or more in thickness, the weight of the ice causes the mass to slowly slide down the ravine, lubricated by its own meltwater. Friction between ice and rock, and geothermal heat from the earth itself, all contribute to the thawing that allows it to flow.

The speed at which these glaciers move varies, but according to online sources the Byrd Glacier in Antarctica moves from 750 to 800 meters per year, or approximately six feet per day. Six feet a day amounts to three inches an hour. In other words, Archie the snail is to glacier speed as Dale Earnhardt Jr. is to a child’s pedal car.

Slow Is Good
Many times, the intentions of a bill are good, but the full impact is not readily visible. Hence, in some instances you might find organizations like the AOCA, SEMA or the CARE Coalition lobbying on opposite sides of a matter, even though each are concerned with needs of their auto aftermarket constituencies, because they recognize differing potential consequences.

A number of bills that have a bearing on the auto industry have been wriggling through Congress this year. Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) requirements continue to be a front and center concern of legislators. The biofuels debate is likewise ongoing. And another biggy, the 2007 Right to Repair Act.

Differing versions of a bill to raise CAFE standards have been debated in both houses of congress. By ratcheting up fuel economy requirements to 35 mpg in 2022 we’re putting pressure on automakers to build ever lighter cars that require more expensive safety features like extra airbags. These goals can be achieved, but there are always trade offs. For example, the National Academy of Sciences estimates that 2,000 auto related deaths per year can be attributed to smaller vehicles that were downsized to increase fuel economy. Another trade-off: the greater the investment in engineering to meet CAFE, the less investment capital is on hand for alternative energy vehicles.

The rationale for this legislation is to achieve greater energy efficiency and reduce oil consumption. Anticipating consequences is challenging and complicated. Hence, it is sometimes OK when legislation rushes through congress at a snail’s pace.

Whatever the future outcome with regard to CAFE, synthetics have been demonstrated to improve fuel economy in the past and present because of their ability to reduce friction (drag) in the engine and drivetrain. Because of their cleaner operation, they help engines operate in the optimal manner for which they were designed.

Why wait for government to pass laws that go into effect fifteen years down the road when we can be making an impact today simply by switching our customers to synthetic motor oils and drivetrain fluids? The switch to the lowest viscosity synthetics allowed by the OEM combined with extended drains will have a significant impact on the two driving forces behind both the CAFE laws and the biofuels debate. These two driving forces are (1) reducing the environmental impact of our nation’s vehicles and (2) reducing our dependence on foreign oil. For some reason, it seems so simple to me.

Closing Thought
When a glacier moves, it gives the appearance that nothing can stand in its way. Ten years ago it appeared that lengthening drain intervals were jeopardizing the entire fast lube industry. Yet this year’s AOCA industry survey indicates that quick lube profits are growing, not shrinking, despite the reality that passenger car drain intervals have increased steadily throughout the past decade.

We’re not talking flash floods here, which can be quite destructive. We’re discussing trends that move with great power across our landscapes, but slowly enough so that we have time to adjust. The best adjustment that I know of today is to have every mechanically sound engine switched to synthetic lubricants. When you look at the numbers, it really can make a difference.